Save Your Marriage




Relationship Problems And Problem Solving

I used my time at home to nurture our newly created Denver TA Community, continue my own TA training and even begin to teach some of the classes we were offering. Since the only training was aimed at therapists, I accidentally changed professions. By the time I passed my certification exams my daughter was two years old (she now has four boys of her own) and I was having a blast. 

When Jonathan opened his practice with some other professionals in 1971 it was only a matter of months before I was included as one of the principals. He invited me to be his co-therapist and I found myself focusing on relationships of all kinds.

That’s because TA is all about what happens when people talk to each other.  The more I worked with couples the easier it got to spot what was happening.

I often seem to make changes by accident rather than specific design. (I didn’t plan to write the first Relationship Tips Booklet until the morning I woke up with most of it in my head.) 

I didn’t consciously plan to carry out my earlier thoughts of protecting our marriage by becoming Jonathan’s co-therapist. From my perspective, it just happened. And I actually got more than I bargained for.

The more therapy groups we did together, the faster problems showed up in our relationship. And to make things even more interesting, TA was growing rapidly and we were teaching it throughout the country. Our relationship was under constant scrutiny. 

When our relationship had a problem it interfered with our work. There was no way to do what we were doing without working continuously on our own relationship challenges. And we had lots of them.

Fortunately for us, the growing TA community was filled with wonderful resources. Other couples were working together and we all helped each other figure things out.

So learning and teaching about relationships was more of a survival mechanism than a conscious choice. We became fascinated by the normal cycles of relationship development and integrated that material with other things we were learning.

Fast forward 25 years or so and…

One day when I had set aside time to do some writing about business relationships, I literally dreamed a completely different booklet. All of the things I kept saying over and over again to the couples I was working with were tumbling through my mind.

I couldn’t get to the computer fast enough. I typed for hours — until my butt was paralyzed. The ideas kept flowing and I completed the work the next day. I worked with a group of amazing people — my R & D team — who helped me refine what I had written into the booklet, "124 Tips for Having A Great Relationship."

That booklet started everything, and it’s actually one of the bonuses for the Being Happy Program.

That brings me to the gift we decided to create to celebrate our anniversary. Several years ago we were invited to make a presentation about relationships at an International Coach Federation conference.

Jonathan has edited the recording, carefully matched it with the accompanying slides and created a video presentation to share with you. It’s available as a part of the Gold Package.

To be continued…

PS Please remember to leave a comment about what I’ve been sharing

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