Save Your Marriage




One small decision led to all this?

Until I wrote the last post I didn’t realize that my decision to learn everything I could about Transactional Analysis (TA) happened 42 years ago.

I attended the conference as a “wife” — someone who defines herself by her husband’s needs and wants. A series of events at the conference* left me with the beginning of the notion that I too was a person in my own right.  And I was determined to learn more about this Transactional Analysis stuff. 

At first I wanted to use it as a classroom management tool, but the learning and teaching transformed my life.

Oh yes, I didn’t manage to stay at home very long. I got bored with staying home and was back in the classroom substitute teaching by the time my son was six months old.

It was a really lucky day when one of my TA teachers asked me when I was going to take my certification exams as a therapist.  Until then it had never occurred to me that I had accidentally become a psychotherapist and could use what I knew to help anyone else.

You see back then I "knew" I was a teacher and my husband was the psychotherapist.

I don’t know about you, but I love to learn.  Once I get started on something I stick with it until I’m satisfied that I know enough to solve whatever problem I have at the moment.  I have shelves of books about different topics that I rarely use now. They cover my gardening phase — my TA phase — my adult children of alcoholics phase — my parenting phase — my addictions phase — my spiritual phase, etc.

But somehow the idea that I could use what I was learning and become a psychotherapist surprised me.  This was back in the 70s when people were rebelling against structure so the fact that I didn’t have a graduate degree didn’t really matter. 

All that really mattered was to be able to prove that I was a competent therapist using Transactional Analysis.  I had already been taking every possible opportunity to learn  even though I was pregnant with our second child and went through my training with my feet propped up.

When my daughter was six weeks old we moved home to Denver. We had a mission  — to introduce Transactional Analysis (TA) in Colorado. Once more, being a stay-at-home mom didn’t work too well.

To be continued…

PS * I wrote about these events last year for out TA Newsletter, The Script. If you would like to know more about them let me know at and I will find a way to post them.


PPS. We are still working on the new bonuses for the Being Happy Together Program. They should be ready soon.

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